We've been looking into adopting a child for quite some time now. In all our considerations, we'd always thought we'd meet the child, decide if we love him (mummy got outvoted 2-1 in favour of a brother for Jed), then decide if we wanted him. But looking back on these last five days, I think God has a different lesson up His sleeve.
8 days ago, a friend asked if we would consider fostering a 6-yr old boy for an indeterminate length of time. 7 days ago, we agreed. 5 days ago, we picked up our foster son. We had never met him before and knew nothing but his name. But the Lord knew and he prepared us...
We'd seen the movie "The Blind Side" a couple of months before and just 2 weeks ago, chanced upon a book written by the family themselves. First "lesson" in chapter one was to "not turn away from the person in need in front of you". There's no need to go looking for a great cause to give to. "Stop and give to the person in front of you", was the message loud and clear.
I remember lying in bed with SK. We're both reading the book - me a copy borrowed from the library and him a copy we'd bought for ourselves. He turns to me and says, "that's exactly how I imagine us adopting a child. It'll be someone who really needs it." Of course, at that time, I just thought, "ya right, all kids up for adoption need a family."
Around that time, I was also introduced to someone who had written a book for adoptive families to share as a life journal with their adopted children. She was hoping to list her book on our bookshop. In the course of our conversations, I just felt a nudging that our time was soon.
Well, we have all had a steep learning curve these last few days. I'm proud to say that Jared has been unusually patient and so mature about it. We have our "I-want-to-talk-to-you" time each night which is his "code word" for wanting personal time with us. And tonight, as we chatted, it occurred to me that this is what it means when we say we "choose" to love someone.
Love is a determination of the mind as much as it is of the heart. With no "choice" in who came to live with us, we continually determine moment by moment to show love to Mr E. (as Jared calls him). It is in the "at-this-moment" choices we make to include him as part of the family that is love. There is a cost: our carefree homeschool schedule is no more so carefree as Mr E. attends school, Jared doesn't get our full attention all the time as he used to, finances are shared among 4 instead of 3 (and children are expensive investments) :) I am reminded that we didn't start out by being "family" with Christ - he made the conscious decision to include us and that choice came at a cost.
And it's just the beginning. Nothing is "legal" or final. It's not an adoption. We don't know how long he'll be with us. He can't come with us when we go for a family holiday overseas in 4 weeks (unless God does a miracle). There are so many question marks in the near future...even more should this future stretch on.
And yet, when a child you've only just met 5 days ago takes to calling you, on day 2, "daddy" and "mom" (for he already has a mummy), how can you but "stop to give to the person in front of you"?
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